Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Tatevik leaves Brussels


And there is nothing left to do
But to kiss once again, and part,
Nay, there is nothing we should rue,
I have my beauty,-you your Art,
Nay, do not start,
One world was not enough for two
Like me and you.

-Oscar Wilde

Friday, January 26, 2007

Ministerial today!

Two weeks agao Condoleeza Rice decided that there ought to be a meeting among NATO's foreign ministers to discuss Afghanistan and Kosovo. The Secretary of State of the United States is a voice to be heard in IR, and so at NATO we went into full gear to make the preparations. Art was installed, the security arrangements made, the media invited. It was all very impressive albeit a bit of a pain in the ass.

Kosovo was discussed but I wasn't there, I couldn't get a badge to attend. From what I've read though nothing special has come out, just the continued support for Ahtisaari and the UN process, its really in the realm of the Security Council now, only the Russians can bog things up.

Tatevik received her prize for a lunch for 2 at the NATO staff centre and we use today to claim it. Its really not a special place, I don't know why it intimidates me. We take full advantage of the free lunch to run up the tab. I start with terrine de pate, Tatevik takes the cheese croquette. We both have the special du jour, pigeon in trappiste sauce....yea now I've had pigeon in both oriental and western cuisine, its not something I think I'll ever need to try again, we conclude with chocolate mousse and coffee. Oh and a bottle of nice wine to boot probably brings the tab to around 80 euros for NATO to cover, which is sweet.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Bruges (Brugge)

Photos: http://lse.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2023859&l=9cc26&id=37002455

As the train pulls out Brussels we pass the green farmer’s fields and are relieved to see a blue sky and sun. Belgium’s weather can make or break your day, sunny weather can make it perfect while the worst rain can make any day outside seem like torture. Unfortunately as we approach Bruges it starts to get noticeably greyer. Bruges (or Brugge in native Flemish) used to be a port town and a commercial centre for the lowlands during medieval ages. However silting resulted in the town losing access to the sea. The city once received merchant fleets from Italy’s Genoa, but as it was cut off it was slowly abandoned. The atmosphere of the city led to it being called “Bruges-la-Morte” (Bruge the dead). Luckily however this resulted in a form of stunted development where the city retained a great deal of its medieval charm and has since been re-founded as a sort of tourist attraction. The popularity of the city has created an industry that maybe makes the city seem a tad fake (aka the abundance of horse carriages) but its still one of the prettiest cities I’ve seen. The title “Venice of the North” might be a bit much, but the canals and streets certainly make it much nicer than Amsterdam, which is actually a little rotted.

Its freezing, and my coat is at the dry cleaners so I’ve got a spring jacket one. It’s a typical Sunday in Belgium which means almost everything is closed. Lucky for us there are two shops open selling some clothes still under their post-holiday sales. We’re shopping in the stores when it starts to pour rain. I buy a scarfe and a jumper, Tatevik gets a jumper too. When we go outside the rain has stopped and there’s a blue sky overhead. But as we look around we notice the blue is actually a patch among dark black clouds. The weather decides to be schizophrenic, rain, sun, rain and sun, hail, wind, sun, etc etc.

We’re headed to Onze Lieve Vrouwekerk (Church of Our Lady) to see the Madonna and Child by Michaelangelo, one of his few works to leave Italy in his own lifetime. I had seen the church in October with Ben before work at NATO started. It is placed at an altar and the barrier is so distant that you cannot really see the details of the work. Even so it doesn’t quite compare to my favourite piece by him, the PietĂ , in St. Peter’s. Unfortunately about a block before we get there the icy rain starts again and we take refuge in a chocolate shop. I know this is a tourist den selling overpriced Belgian chocolate to all the tourists, but it smells so good Tatevik and I get a bar of coated Marzipan and head off.

Bruges is a wonderful wandering city, designed for pedestrians the entire town can be walked (but the train station is unfortunately about 2km from the centre). Rickard had recommended we go to a pub called De Garre, where they brew Belgium’s “2nd strongest beer”. The beer isn’t sold outside the pub, though they do bottle it for take-away. We follow Rickard’s map and the alley we have to walk down is miniscule, not even a full arms length. And the entrance to the bar is so understated we walk right by it, assuming it to be the exit of another building. Unfortunately their door is closed, with a sign saying something in Dutch, but with the date Feb 2 on it, which I assume means they are closed until then. However just a bit further down there is another cosy bar where we take a seat and warm ourselves. I order a Kwak, which is a beer served in a very distinctive glass, a ball at the bottom with a narrow neck and a wide mouth. Because the glass cannot be rested on a table, it is served in a wooden cup holder. The shape of the glass means that as you drink the beer the vacuum created in the bottom ball sucks the head back, meaning you can drink the beer even with 2 inches of foam on top. On Wikipedia I read the theory that the glass was designed for horse carriage drivers…makes sense…
On our way down the street I see an artist painting the Belfort and the canal. I ask him in French if I can take his photo, he looks at me confused so I ask in English. He says of course, but asks me if I can take a photo for him. Its dusk and the sunset is lighting up the Belfort with dark clouds behind it. He says he’s never seen it like that and asks if I can photo it for him and email it to him. Its raining while sunny, and I write down his email on a wet piece of paper. Later I email him but the email bounces back, so I google his name to get the correct email address. I find a picture of him from years and years ago, maybe 15, painting almost the same picture…..


Its getting dark so I call Rickard to recommend a restaurant. He recommends the Grand Alley CafĂ© and the Hobbit but the first is closed and we can’t find the second. Frigid we settle for pizza in the main square and hop the bus back to the station. Its dark and freezing, but so peaceful in what is 9 months of the year, a packed square.

I don't think he's laughing -with- me

Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be.
William Hazlitt (1778 - 1830)

Serbian elections were on Sunday (01/21/07) and in PASP our predictions seem to be about right. The radical party (SRS) won the biggest share of the vote, however the majority of Serbs voted in favour of EU/Western leaning parties who are fractured. The goverment will likely be an uneasy coalition under the last PM, who will probably stay PM because he could always make a deal with radicals.

Its the monday after the election and our director Jarek is passing through the hallway. He's looking for a Balkans expert to take to his meeting with the Assistant-Secretary General (ASG in NATO lingo). Trouble is that they are away leaving only me to watch over the region. Jarek asks "Chris do you know anything, anything at all about the Balkans?", well that is my field I guess. So we rush down the hallway to the ASG's office. I grab a sheet of paper and a pencil from a random lady I don't know so I can take notes. We get into the office and Jarek tells our ASG Martin "I brought Chris along, he's handling the Balkans while Gabriele and Steffen are away". Martin is a large German fellow who looks at me and smiles a broad smile and breaks into a hearty laugh.

"That's amusing"


I'm young, but I look even younger. At a party thrown by our ASG the 16 year old daughter of a colleague guessed I was about 18. God 18, high school, its ancient history now. So I know my face conveys zero credibility, if credibility is measured by stubble and crow's feet. There is an idea, a construct, an image of what an intelligent and credible person looks like, someone you would trust your important affairs with, who's opinions matter to you and is valuable. For example see this graph giving the average height of US Presidents
Notice the upward trend? The most noticeable is senior military men. With few exceptions they all "look" and "talk" like the leaders from Hollywood. They are tall with a full head of slightly greying hair, they have deep voices and sharp features. Of course this doesn't affect his abilities at all. But when you have to trust the judgement of someone you don't even know, what else do you have to rely on?

Jarek takes a moment to apologize for Martin while we walk back, of course he certainly doesn't have to, and I guess neither does Martin (though from a purely management point of view my job satisfaction went to about 0 that day). I understand, it just sucks is all.

Monday, January 15, 2007

ATOMIUM

Photos: http://lse.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2023110&l=63873&id=37002455

Built for the 1958 World's Fair, Atomium has been called the "Eiffel Tower of Brussels". The comparison is accurate to the extent that both were temporary structures that were only intended to last a few months, both of them became popular tourist attractions, and consequently both of them are now overpriced traps.

Its a sunny day which is the real novelty of Brussels, I've lived in some rainy places (Vancouver, London) but Brussels is by far the soggiest of all. Its 2pm and the shadows are already starting to get long so we head off to the old expo fair grounds. They recently cleaned Atomium up and the shiny metal balls sparkle in the sun, its nice to see it restored to its former "glory". Seeing it from the outside really should have sufficed, but its only 4 euros with a student card so we head in. There is only 1 lift for Atomium, when it was built it was the fastest lift in Europe, taking you up 100 meters in only a few seconds. Its still only 1 lift though, and the queue takes about 30 minutes. The lift has a glass ceiling though which is a novel first.

After spending so long in the line we walk around and take a quick look at the view before sitting down in their funky 1970's lounge. The stairs from the top ball are closed so we have to queue to take the lift back down. In the line we run into Andy and that Hungarian fellow (I'm crap with names) from NATO. The middle ball contains a gelato vendor, oooooh. We walk down to another sphere, it has a neat glow-in the dark display, but that's about the most exciting thing. The remaining spheres contain mostly old barbie dolls, old photos and movies. The rest is closed off because of maintenance work.



Yea, this photo captures how impressive the inside was....

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Interns meet with Secretary-General

My favourite lesson from 1st year psychology was the one about “cognitive dissonance”, which means the incompatibility between 2 cognitions. Basically the tensions that exist between 2 opposing thoughts. In psychology the term can also refer to the driving force of the mind to change or harmonize our ideas to eliminate cognitive dissonance. An experiment to demonstrate this involved 2 neighbourhoods, one was left alone while the other had someone go door to door asking people to sign a very vague petition supporting the environment. People seldom dispute the environment as a good thing worth supporting and the personal cost of signing a petition is about nil so it was very successful. Two weeks later campaigners went to both neighbourhoods asking if they could install huge ugly signs on their lawns for an environmental campaign. In the untouched neighbourhood most people refused, as the benefit to the environment from ugly lawn signs is small but the personal cost of having to see them every time you come home is great. In the 2nd neighbourhood the campaigner would say “Hello, we got your name from a list of supporters of the environment who signed a petition and were wondering if you would...” These homeowners suddenly experienced cognitive dissonance, they might actually have been apathetic about the environment but such a self-image was at tension with the fact that they had signed the petition. Now when confronted by someone who externally identified them as “environmentalists” the rest of their thoughts were forced to harmonize with that image. Maybe the sign isn’t that ugly, maybe it really will help the cause, maybe its my duty to have an ugly lawn sign, etc. The result is that when compared to the control group, there was a very significant increase in the number of people willing to install the signs.

I’m a paid intern, which is almost a contradiction in terms and certainly an exception to the rule. I’ve been placed at NATO by the Canadian Ministry of Foreign Affairs who give me a fairly generous stipend, under a now axed programme that the government has deemed “redundant”. Most of the NATO interns are paid zip, zero, natta. However few interns would consider their time to be worth nothing, and so cognitive dissonance leads them to focus on the non-monetary rewards of their work (experience, contacts, etc). Meeting the Secretary-General of NATO is one of those rewards, and so I think the interns (myself included) might have expected a little more in exchange of their free labour.

In fairness there are a lot of goddamn interns here. With 26 member countries it would only take 2 from each to make 52. In practice though some countries have lots (US, Canada, Germany) others have none (Latvia, Turkey got 1 recently). When the SG finally shows up for his photo the photographer has to keep taking back steps to fit all the interns into the frame. Snap snap snap, he takes the new shots for the NATO newsletter. We head inside a conference room, one of the older ones with wood panels that reminds you that the HQ was built in the 1970’s. We get a brief and unexciting Q&A with the SG and that’s it. Most of us would not have wanted too much more, a handshake, a prepared speech, maybe a cup of coffee…well as momentous as it all was I’m sure the interns are now much more eager to receive their first pay cheques, a stipend of 600 euros a month in exchange of their service to international peace and security.


Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Christmas at Mont-Tremblant

We’re at the bottom of Versant Nord and I’ve got all my gear, well almost. Actually I’ve got no tuque, boots, or wrist guards. The first is easily remedied, I try to do 1 run with nothing but the icy air starts to freeze my brain and I cave into an overpriced red Oakley hat from the ski-shop. The boots are sitting back in our rented condo, so for today I rent a nice pair of Burtons. But the wrist guards pose a problem. The ski shop doesn’t sell em. Of course I don’t need the wrist-guards to ski and will probably be just fine without them…but the last time I said that was in February 05 when I went to Whistler and veered off an icy run into a stream, smashing my wrist into hundreds of pieces. Now I’ve got a metal structure holding it all together, kinda like the steel frame of a building, all hidden below a few scars that have yet to go white. I haven’t been on a snowboard since then.

My brother has a pair of firefly gloves with wrist-guards built in. The built-in kind aren’t quite as sturdy, and move around as you shift your gloves, but its better than nothing. He lends them to me knowing that after 6 years of snowboarding he’s never needed them, but I still feel a sense of loathing that he may just may. I pull the strap around as tight as it can go.

The snow base is sparse and patchy, the snowmakers are on full blast trying to compensate for global warming. I’ve always had mixed feelings about Tremblant. Compared to Whistler its an icy miserable little hill, but then again it’s probably the best bet East of the rockies. On the chairlift up I hear that familiar sound of skis and boards grinding their steel edges into the ice trying to carve. It doesn't take much on ice like this for the waxy bottom of your board to fly from straight out from under you. It makes the hair on my arms stand up.

Statistically most accidents happen at the end of the day. My buddy Paul once told me that the sign that you were done skiing was when you used the words “last run”. Rather than actually taking one more run, when he found himself saying “one more run” he knew that he ought to quit and get a beer. The reasons are quite simple, after skiing for 6 hours of icy weather your body begins to feel exhausted and remembers the ungodly early hour you had to wake up at. Maybe that hangover from the night before finally kicks in. Or in my case, the rotten sleep because of jet lag. Your legs feel rubbery and aren’t as responsive, and you lazily let yourself slide. The mind also slows, you don’t notice the grooves in the snow, the presence of people around you. You don’t react fast enough. Everyone else is like this too, meaning that the run is now an obstacle course filled with other tired skiers who are little more than projectiles. Finally, and this is particular to the time of year, it darkens even around 3. The shadows across the snow can play tricks on the mind and it suddenly becomes difficult to tell if you’ve got powder underneath or a sheet of ice. I’ve only had a few bad accidents, and almost all of them have happened on the “last run”.

We’re at the top of the mountain, its just after 3 and the lifts are starting to shut down. There is a big blue sky above us and the moon is a pale white. We can see over the brown mountain range of the Laurentians. It’s the last day and we all wish we could ski more. If we haul ass to the bottom we might catch the last chair up for a “last run”…but I instantly know why that’s a mistake. Instead we savour the run taking it slow and making big S’s in the empty lane. Last time we were here I was always the fastest one down, leaving everyone else in my tracks. Now I'm 2nd slowest, only slightly faster than Caitlin who crawls ahead, too chicken to risk the speed. Sarah and Tim have been leading the pack, but Tim finally still slips on the ice and takes his only dive of the trip, scooping up a bunch of ice down his bum. So the curse of the last run strikes again, but an icy bum now and then never hurt anybody.

Heathrow Hell

When I was 6 years old I got on a plane for the first time in my life to go to Disney Land in Florida. About 4 months later my parents were divorced and my mum had moved to Montreal and I was taking the plane every few weeks. Even then I somehow knew I looked a little pathetic taking my 4 year old brother by the hand into the airport with a little suitcase in tow. Flying back in those days was at least a somewhat civil experience. Today modern flying is constituted by part cattle farm, part prison, part Kafka novel. This adventure starts at Brussels airport, probably the most inept airport I’ve ever been to. I was there only one week prior for a flight to London, and now that it’s Christmas its thrice as bad. Tatevik and I barely catch the airport bus, and only because it is stalled by the huge volume of people lining up for it to get to the airport. While in the queue we stand next to two Frenchmen who almost break into a fist fight while trying to get on. We get to the airport with almost 2 hours until the flight but quickly realize that its gonna be a bit of a crunch. The check in line alone snakes far down the terminal. I bought the ticket with Air Canada but they don’t fly to Brussels, so I have to take a connection to Brussels with their “partner”, BMI which is basically a cheapo charter which sells tickets for as little as 10 euros but with absolutely no frills.

We’re in the line for almost 30 minutes, and I’m anxious because I have last minute gifts to buy from the duty free. A lady comes to line and announces that the flight to London before and after mine have been cancelled, and that people can come with her to see about taking the train to London. I’m really thankful that mine’s still going because my connection to Toronto leaves at 1pm from Heathrow. I get up to the check-in lady, she’s just arrived and I’m her first customer of the day, she’s sweet in a way that I know can’t last with the unruly mob of angry travelers behind me. My flight is still going but due to fog its going to be delayed, in all likeliness the flight will arrive at noon, which gives me 1 hour to connect from Terminal 3 to terminal 1, its tight but I might make it. I shop around duty free when Tatevik calls me, I forgot to give her the key to my flat. I’m on my way to passport control to try and find her when I decide to check the departures board, my flight is listed now and its got a gate number, and the time reads to original departure time of 9.45, which gives me 30 minutes to get through security and to the gate. I rush to the passport control and give the key to a passport officer who hands it to Tatevik and haul ass down to security. The line is enormous so I pick the one that seems to move fastest, and I’m right. I move so fast I notice that there are xray machines to the left and right of me, but where’s the machine for my line? I look down the line to see it is the only one to trail far ahead, I check my watch, 15 minutes, this line could easily eat that. Out of sheer desperation I jump to the right line and ask the security guard if I can go through, and that my flight is leaving in 10 minutes. He ok’s me and I go through. I run down 20 gates and see a small crowd in front of mine, good its still boarding! I’m right by a duty free and run to grab an armful of Belgian chocolates and beer. The lady’s almost rung me through when she stars a conversation with someone, I feel like smashing the glass counter with the cheap watches underneath. She packs the beer in a special clear plastic bag glued at the top and I go to the gate.

I’m shocked to see a huge crowd just sitting around, no one is boarding, but people are also lined up. I get in the line and divine that the flight is still delayed, and these people are trying to find alternative routes to their destination. I’m furious, if the flight is delayed why not write that on the departures board, worse, why write the original time next to gate number!! The lady at the gate tells me the flight will probably leave between 11 and 12, so I haul off to get a coffee. I’m sitting at the cafeteria when I get a strange and sudden impulse to go to my gate, I have no idea why. I’m strolling up to it when I see that there is no one there anymore except one woman at the check-in desk. I run up to her, she’s boarded the plane, they’re getting an earlier departure slot!!! Why in God’s name then don’t they announce in on the speaker system!! I run to the plane and get into my seat and we wait, and wait and wait. The captain comes on:


“This is your captain speaking, as you know Heathrow has a dense freezing fog and is working on a time slot system and we’ve been given an earlier time slot. Unfortunately we have to depart in the next 5 minutes in order to make the slot. However a number of passengers for this flight are not aboard, and due to security regulations we now have to take their bags off the plane. This is being done now, and we will request an extension of our slot from Heathrow, and hope for the best”

The pilot, probably sensing the frustration of all the people behind him, has also omitted one other security policy. That passengers cannot disembark a flight once they have boarded, this is because there is the possibility of leaving “something” behind. So if we don’t get an extension on our slot, we’re waiting, and we’re waiting in this tiny airplane. Luckily we do get one and we taxi out, I’ll arrive at Heathrow around noon, its gonna be tight, but I might make it.

At Heathrow I run as fast as I can following the connections signs until I get to the security check. I’m going to the security line when some low-level Heathrow grunt tells me I can only have one bag, I look at my hands, I have my laptop bag and duty free. I tell him I bought the duty free in Brussels, he says I can only have 1 bag, I ask him what I should do, he tells me I can check the bag, I tell him my flight leaves in 45 minutes, he says I can only take 1 bag. So I step aside, I tear open my duty free bag and take 2 glass beer goblets that come in a kit and stuff em in my coat pocket and toss the coat over my arm. Tim might not get beer, but at least he gets something. I go back to him and drop the beer next to the rubbish bin. He says I can’t leave alcoholic drinks near the bin, I ask him what I should do with them, he says I should check them. Now I can feel the blood start to rush to my face. “I can’t check them I have a flight in 40 minutes!!” “You cannot leave them here!”, “So I can’t take them with me, I can’t check them, and I can’t throw them away, exactly what am I supposed to do with these!!”

At this moment one of his coworkers comes up, “What’s wrong here?”, I say “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with these”, he replies “Why don’t you take them on the plane?”…..

At this point the two Heathrow men argue about what exactly is the policy about duty-free and carry-on when a supervisor comes, and she listens to them for all of 5 seconds before just passing me through. I’m relieved to still have my duty free but now I’ve torn open that special bag with the big lettered instructions, indicating that it is against the law to tamper with the bag. I’m not too worried, worst case scenario they’ll take it away, but they’re still xmas gifts so I roll the top of the bag over and over and grip it tightly getting the glue to kinda stick. I gently put it on the xray belt and it goes through to a woman on the other side, she says “Oh this is from Brussels airport, who’s is this” and holds the bag up, my rolls start to unfurl and any moment all that beer is gonna drop out. I quickstep up to her saying “mine mine!” and gently rest it on the ground.

Partly out of stress and exhaustion, and partly because I’m a bumblebrain, I believe I’m in Terminal 3 going to Terminal 1 and not vice versa. So I hurry off to the terminal 1 signs and see the departures board, my flight isn’t listed. Confused I run back to the connections desk and get into the line for Air Canada, I spend almost 10 minutes in the line and its in mid-conversation with a lady behind me that I realize my mistake. I run down the terminal 3 signs which leads to a bus stop where a bus has just left. Its 25 minutes to go, I’m convinced I’m not going to make it and call my Dad to say so. The bus comes and I spend the entire ride patting my pockets constantly rechecking for wallet, passport, flight tickets, I don’t trust my brain anymore.

I run up to the departures board and see my flight, in big red letters it says GATE CLOSING. I’ve got about 5 minutes to go and I’m at gate 52!! I’m running like a madman when I see one of the trolleys parked, I jump on and tell the guy, an old friendly British fellow, that my flight is leaving in 5 minutes, can he get me to my gate? “We’ll try!!” he says. He turns on his little light and beeping sound and he races his cart as fast as it will go, honking past people and rushing on, gate 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 and finally 52. He radios “I’ve got one more passenger coming, hold the plane!!” I thank him as fast as I can and run down seeing the dock drivers standing there, I yell out “I’m coming” and jump over a row of seats to the gate. A lady rips my ticket and I haul down the corridor and hop the plane, and walk as a sweaty heap to my seat. I slump in my chair too exhausted to watch “My Super Ex-Girlfriend”, which in the end is probably for the best.